My name is Sanskriti Shrivastava, and I am a traumatic brain injury survivor.
Nobody prepares you for something like a traumatic brain injury. You don’t realize how much it changes your life until you experience it yourself. As future psychologists, we have studied the brain and how injuries and illness can impact functioning. The brain controls the functions in our body and keeps us alive. I recall back in my BA at ELTE; we studied about TBIs in particular. I remember thinking how difficult it must be to go through that, the agony, fear, and the way that your life suddenly changes with no guidance on how to cope with the new you, and your new life.
A traumatic brain injury can range anywhere from a mild concussion to a skull fracture. Now, as a TBI survivor and a future therapist, I feel that it’s my responsibility to spread awareness and help others understand the experience. It’s challenging to appear fine outwardly while being reminded daily how fortunate I am and being told not to make a big deal out of it because it’s ‘just’ a head injury. Instead of expressing concerns, I’m often advised to be grateful for not having suffered a more severe injury.
Lots of people think of a car accident, a plane crash, a rough football game, or a severe fall when they hear ‘TBI.’ You can also hit your head and if you are lucky enough, you won’t face any consequences from that and mostly be in satisfactory cognitive, emotional, and physical health. However, it can also be as minute as a cabinet door hitting the side of your head. The severe jolt resulted in a linear fracture in my occipital bone.
Nevertheless, I persisted and finished the fall semester. People would tell me I was brave and strong for choosing to stay and attend my classes and actively participate. But the truth is, what else would I have been doing? Staying and working through the semester was certainly great brain food that I feel has facilitated my recovery. When you see someone and they mention that they have a TBI, they may appear to be doing well on the surface, however it is a much different story going on inside. Having a TBI also feels similar to having unmedicated ADHD, because the memory issues, impulsiveness and lack of focus and attention deficits that come with having a brain injury make it strenuous to perform well at university. I have had my fair share of troubles so far while adjusting to life with a TBI and this has expectedly affected my grades, but my willingness to learn has only increased.
There is a huge iceberg of symptoms that can range from confusion to headaches, memory loss, irritability, anger issues, tiredness, dizziness, nausea, coordination issues, and an inability to focus. Your eyes become blurry if you’re too tired. Do you know that feeling when you go out on a Friday night, and then wake up the next day feeling hungover, with your body feeling heavy? That’s how it feels to have a TBI, especially when you don’t stop to rest and keep following your daily routine.
When your main purpose becomes healing, life takes on a new meaning. Adjusting your lifestyle to facilitate recovery becomes significant. Obviously, you also have to adapt to your brain injury and come to terms with how your abilities have been affected.
TBIs are isolating
It can also lead you down a lonely road because the whole concept of having to take a step back and listening to your body is unfathomable to the outside world. Brain injuries don’t just affect the brain and the body. Unfortunately, they have lasting effects on the sufferer’s relationships, responsibilities, and roles in society. The invisibility of experiencing symptoms can make it particularly complex for those around us to imagine themselves in our shoes, which is why we need to spread awareness about traumatic brain injuries so we can begin making society more accepting and understanding of those around us who have suffered such a huge storm. There is little time between coming to terms with the fact that your life has changed, and having to go along with it as the world around you revolves and doesn’t lose its rhythm. What I have come to perceive is that there is no such thing as a mild, moderate or severe TBI. All TBIs should be considered serious, especially if the injury has had a significant impact on the functioning of the brain and the body.
What I want people to know
This is not a piece I wrote to garner sympathy. Nor did I write this to explain what I went through and how ‘brave’ I am. My sole purpose to have written this article is to educate my fellow students about Traumatic Brain Injuries and to spread awareness about the fact that someone can look able-bodied and still be feeling dizzy, nauseous, off-balance, irritated, forgetful, unfocused, and just terrible. As future clinicians, it’s our duty to always remember that the person in front of us could be going through a world of problems inside. So the next time you come to know someone has a TBI, be kind and patient with them.
Sanskriti Shrivastava
